


bend as light refracts

by blckpnk



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: A death note fan fiction? In 2020? More likely then u think, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, if u read it that way at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23335945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blckpnk/pseuds/blckpnk
Summary: bend; to adapt to one's purpose, to guide or turn towardrefract; to change direction, to deflect
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	bend as light refracts

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read or watched death note in so long but every once in a while I get in the mood for some lawlight, ya know? 
> 
> Inspired by the lyric "but if what I'm seeing bends as light refracts am I blinded to what my son lacks" in the song honour bound in the DN musical soundtrack. I've been wanting to write something inspired by that lyric for so long bc it keeps me up at night cuz its too good. 
> 
> not really proof read (maybe one day)

To understand the mind of a genius, one must understand what a genius is not. A genius does not possess the entirety of the universe locked inside their skull, they do not, can not, pull upon information in which they do not possess. This concept was hard to interpret for many. To realize that geniuses did not have some sort of divine knowledge that they did not, just that they could see things, puzzle pieces, patterns, algorithms, that they weren’t capable of. The Task Force could not grasp the idea. L listened endlessly, tirelessly, to the men pull senseless clues out of their back pocket, thinking L would know the missing piece, the secret to their mystery. Why did they think IQ tests were that of puzzles and patterns, not of math equations and complex physics? The human mind cannot know what it has not been taught, but some could catch on faster than others.

The life of a genius is often lonely. It is not by fault of their own, but constantly seeing things that by others standards were not really there took a toll. To have everything seem so simple, but still constantly see people disregard the signs was so frustrating that some days L wished he could erase the connections and answers from his memory, and live his life without the burden of solutions. L had long resigned himself to be trapped in a world of invisibility— until Light Yagami.

To suddenly have someone see as he did, after so long, was an addiction that L could not resist. To have the world shrouded in darkness, suddenly bathed in the light of acknowledgement was exhilarating, in a way that he had thought impossible. To have the answer on the tip of his tongue, only to have Light spit it out first, to have a missing piece filled in with a pattern he himself could not see, was a stimulus so invigorating that he suddenly found himself understanding the appeal behind cigarets and booze. Once he and Light started, he couldn’t get enough. He found himself questioning Light over dinner, during late nights where even his mind was running sluggish, and he would quiz him back just as fast, with a glint in his eye that L realized only he saw. It was they were both cogs, fitting together just right and working together to turn. Light would spot something, and L would build on it, and the cycle would continue. Eventually, the task force learned to not interrupt when they were whispering each other, perhaps finally realizing that they could not offer anything that the pair could not already see. 

The handcuff was physical manifestation of their link. Mentally they were always in sync, never apart. Two hemispheres, working in conjunction to control their sides of the body. Together, L’s other aliases productivity went up almost 200%. L could not imagine working without him again, it would be as if he would lose half his eyesight. To know that there were solutions out there he could not find, spaces where Light could fill in the blanks, would drive him mad. He could feel it. Light could feel it too. When they worked together, he could see the true Light. Not the Light around his father, or around his peers, but the true, untethered, raw, man himself. He let his hair fall naturally, clothes wrinkle, allow a smile to curl when he found a solution. When they were with the task force, and L watched him out of the corner of his eye, he found himself yearning to be alone with him again, watch the mask fall, just for him. 

It was only logical that their friendship would evolve into something more. It is human nature to be attracted to someone who could understand you, nourish you, better you. The night they slipped past the boundary they had been toeing for so long, Light looked at him, eyes sparkling in the dim light of their computer screens, hand tentatively hovering over his own, _should we?…_ L could feel it behind his eyelids, a pulse in his frontal lobe warning him that this was truly the last turning point, but then he looked back at him, the thrum of his heart crawling up his throat, and he turned his cold hand up into the warm palm of Light’s, and let their minds and their bodies connect in a whole new way. 

When he took one step, Kira took another. When he moved left, Kira moved right. When he lay at night, waiting for the insomnia to finally be overtaken by his biological need for sleep, he watched Light’s eyes flutter behind his eyelids. His head throbbed, but his heart ached. Sometimes, Kira would take a step forward, and L found himself willingly taking a step back.

He knew. He realized, one night as he lay sore and sated, his head on Light’s chest and a hand brushing through his knotted hair. Instead of the thunder crashing revelation it should have been, it was a soft click of the final puzzle piece as it slipped into its rightful place. There was no one else who could match him so well. It was fitting, an almost Romeo and Juliet-esque romance. Deep down, he had always known. He would bend the rules for him, he would bend the entire world for him, if it meant he could stay here. He would never catch Kira. 

_Refract; to change direction, to deflect_


End file.
